yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize