Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
You're my little dorito
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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