Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
