shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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