Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Randomize
