basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
