Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
