I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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