My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
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