Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
