"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
