I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
