Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
