yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
