u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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