yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
