I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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