You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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