Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
