he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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