I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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