There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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