he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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