He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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