If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
NoShamevember. You game?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
