I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize