We won't sleep together?
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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