his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
