She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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