bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
