i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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