I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
