she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
