I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize
