he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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