I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
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