Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I love you.
Bad choice
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
