I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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