so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
