Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
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