he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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