People in love make me want to vomit
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
