i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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