I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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