Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
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