she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
