I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
