She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize