ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
whose ass print is on the piano?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize