he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
BRING THE BAGELS
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
