I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
My pussy is not your playground.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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