Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Just pee around me
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
