Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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