FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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