Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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