You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
