Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
