he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize