he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
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