no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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