my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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