how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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