He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
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