ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
