Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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