Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Randomize
