Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
