I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize