Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
