I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize