well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
