I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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