i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
