that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
