I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
