i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
